Instant Messaging

What is it about the New Resident experience that indoctrinates people to think that the primary means of communication in Second Life is the Instant Message?

So I'm laying on a beach, as is often my wont, when up pops an Instant Message from someone who is one meter away from me. We are alone on the beach. He can't say "HI" in Main Chat? Seeing as he was new to Second Life – yet already adult-verfied after just four days in-world so she could be on this beach – I gave him a bit of an etiquette lesson: IMs (to at least a few of us) are like phone calls. You don't stand next to someone in Real Life and phone them to make an acquaintance. Well, maybe if you are on one of those strange bar game things for the really desperate you do. But generally, no. So why do that in Second Life? Goal accomplished: he left me alone.

I was being mostly AFK and didn't want to socialize. Probably should have picked a different location for that, I guess, but nonetheless I wasn't in the mood to chat and the gentleman being a noob, I gave him a pass on it.

Then I received two more IMs. One from clear across the island. This person eventually wandered over and sat on the lounger next to mine. He was an experienced Resident and merely wanted to compliment me on my hair anyway. I think he was an itinerant hair dresser. The second IM was also from an experienced Resident, but he was two meters away at the start and could have very easily said "yr hot bby!" in Main Chat. Sure, it might not have been clear if he had meant me or the guy on the lounger near me, but I think the inference would have carried.

In a third incident, a woman stopped at the foot of my lounger and IMd "MMMMMMMm sexy body." I carried on my part of the conversation in Main Chat. She left without another word in IM or any in Main. Another Whiskey Tango Foxtrot moment.

These exchanges got me to thinking, though, about that question at the head of this post. I imagine it has to be something from when we are noobs that starts this behavior. I know in most of the training areas there is often a "station" or "learning module" about Instant Messages, but these tutorials also cover Main Chat. Is it something that happens afterward? I wish I knew.

Perhaps I'm overly sensitive because in Real Life I don't use "Main Chat" to "talk." My use of Sign Language or writing on my iPad is rather like the more personal IM format of Second Life. But I want to "talk in Main" like others do. Maybe my jealousy is spilling into SL. Maybe after almost seven years here I'm the one out of synch with the way Our World should work. In any case, I still want to know  what it is that starts people into this pattern of using IMs instead of talking openly.

Am I Cute & Innnocent?

"How cute and innocent am I?" is the question of the day. My Bestest Big Sister in-world thinks I'm cute whether I'm in a bunny avie or demon avie or just my usual self. Just this morning we were having a conversation along these lines when it struck me that I was wearing a really slutty shirt that I love. While I do have the body for it (okies, thicker iRL, but not too different), there is no way I would be caught wearing something like this outside of Second Life^®. At least not near other people. I do have some really slutty tank tops much like some in-world ones, but only because they are comfy.

Yah, right. Like most women I sometimes like to feel kinda slutty. We girls are complex beasties and we don't like to be understood all the time, even by ourselves. So I'm not all cute and innocent, but something in SL^® is a dis-inhibitor, leading me to frequently dress in a fashion contrary to my RL tendencies even just going nude rather often. Nothing in the debug settings or in preferences.

It must be in the anonymity. A few people know the real life town I live in while more know the area and nearly everyone who has met me knows I live in Maine, USA. But only one person knows my full legal name. I'd say I'm pretty well anonymous, so maybe that gives me licence to behave contrary to my natures. Call it the "Vegas factor" ... what happens in SL stays in SL. I know plenty of girls that would never entertain the notion of Gorean slavery in downtown middle America, but participate with Gusto in-world, going beyond the exploration or living out a casual fantasy that one might give other activities. There has to be some of the "Vegas Factor" in my dress, but tied into that is another factor gives the Gor example weight: Novelty.

My usual dress at home is simply shorts and a tank top or a t-shirt. Plain and butch. My virtual home makes me feel girlier (if that is a word) than I have ever felt iRL. My one RL dress is for funerals. My SL dresses range from the fabled "little black dress" to staidly Victorian ball gowns. My avie often has lipstick and earrings, understated to be sure, but I don't own lipstick iRL and my ears are not pierced. Most often my avie sports some Chuck Taylor knock-offs but I do love the pumps I got from Bare Rose (SLurl). IRL? two pairs of "Crocs" and one pair of trainers, black leather for any occasion. Being a girl in SL is very easy compared to iRL, at least in my experience.

As you can see from the pic I like showing off that I'm a girl. Maybe that is what it is all about: SL lets me be "me" much more easily that so-called Real Life does. Being a girl in "meatspace" has been a source of hardship and even tragedy. It wasn't until my virtual life started that I could finally do things that I've wanted to do but for many reasons could not. The influence goes both ways, too, I've noticed. There was some pretty spiffy looking jewelry on sale at QVC the other day and my birthday wish list was near by ...

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PS: got the shirt at WWI (SLurl), a store that seems to like certain girl features as much as I do.

Children in SL

Honestly, I think most so-called drama in Second Life^® is brought on by children who have snuck into the adults-only side of the service. Not just children in the chronological sense, but also children in the I-behave-like-I'm-4-years-old sense.

Here is the scenario: Some 100 meters from where I was standing, minding my own business, a resident was being a nuisance and was ejected from the region. Said individual then began to harass the ejector and thus was banned. So here is where I come in ...

Out of the blue, I received an IM asking why this other person was banned (don't ask how I knew, but I was aware that the IMer was an alt of the offender), making me wonder why they contacted me. I was not wearing my security group tag, though if someone was really diligent they might have found out that I have the Security Chief title despite someone else really having that job. So, maybe it was a fair cop (pun intended) to contact me.

Mind you, at this point I knew of the incident peripherally at best, but despite that, the offender's alt began to harass me because I would not clear the ban. They did not ask to discuss the issue or to plead their side. And they were in contact with my boss, the real head of security with much the same conversation going on at the same time. From what I found out later, the initial ejection and ban were valid based on the region's rules, but the resident's subsequent actions would have earned a ban anyway and eventually earned official Abuse Reports from several individuals.

What kind of abuse? Apparently the resident makes vendor systems (though thier profiles were very vague as to which ones so I can't imagine they have much business) and promised to program into all the vendor server software the avatar keys of all the region's staffers so that no in-world vendor would sell things to them nor would the vendors work on any region owned or operated by the owner of the region from which the offender was ejected. They also made vague threats about some sort of action on XStreet, but I guess all the contempt was lost in the rabid froth so I didn't understand most of it. Lastly, the resident threatened another region with similar actions, not aware that I have never even visited that region. ::shock:: Could this person be banned there, too?!?

Do you see the childishness? I mean, aside from trying to hurt people not involved in the situation, such as other staffers not even present and the merchants who would lose business from the loss of sales. A more mature person would probably have thought through their actions and realize that their vendor clients will be contact them about why transactions are failing.

Bloodlines & Me

My reply to a New World Notes post (Web) about the Bloodlines role play phenomenon in Second Life^®:

Bloodlines has me conflicted. I feel it is impolite to not ask permission before animating anyone for anything other than a hug, but that goes against the role play required for the Bloodlines game. A 'surprise' invite to be bitten is annoying, but you don't see vampires in fiction asking politely.

Just by wearing neko bits, or a tiny avatar, or some other-than-human elements I am inviting others to participate in my personal role play. "Hey, look! I'm a parrot! Now I'm a gleaming dragon!" So who am I to demand that others stop their role play?

What we all need to rely on is common sense. Visiting a business to bite people because it is a popular place is as un-cool as me showing up at an in-world church as a topless belly dancer. Common sense tells me don't do it. Do the undead have such conscience?

Maybe this Peanuts^® cartoon sums it all up: