Wednesday, August 19, 2009

I have a confession

Of my three brothers I am closest to CC, though I love them all dearly. To make a long story short, CC more or less raised me, shaping my values, likes, dislikes, and talents. One way he did this was teaching me to write. Not the letters, but the process of expression. When I went mute, writing became a more important way for me to communicate -- at times the most important way -- to the world. Part of the circumstances that led to me being mute made me afraid of the world, though, so while I wanted my thoughts to burst out I wanted to remain hidden.

I wrote under CC's name, on his blogs and Web sites. Often.

No, I won't put links here. He's had several blogs and most are gone. A couple remain, mostly without recent posts, and one of them is full of my writings. Some were assignments from him to keep my mind occupied when it was tearing itself apart. Others were rote exercises to keep me in tune with the world and my writing skills. But all displayed the passions within me, opening myself from a place of safety to refresh my soul.

Many of my writings were about music. Like all my brothers I adore Rock and Roll. Classics from Hendrix and Led Zep course through me as regular as my pulse, mixing with Metallica, Creed, Evanescence, and others of more recent vintage. My father gave me an appreciation of Jazz but I found the Blues and Bluegrass on my own, stretching me in new directions, encouraging me to listen to Alternative, Country, and Hip-Hop. The Masters complete me as I'm often lost in a swirl of Vivaldi or Bach that wisks me through the ordinary cares of life to a plane filled with joy.

A joy similar to what writing gives to me. So while The Poultry Report is primarily about the Virtual me in Second Life, I ask you to pardon the occasional foray into the Atomic world. So many forget there are genuine people behind the persona. Perhaps they are like me, hiding behind a non de plume, of sorts, but letting their true selves come out through their avatar. In-world I am just me. In writing, I am me and then some.


Peter Stindberg said...

I don't know what your family knows about your Second Life. I hope you are one of the people who do not need to hide their virtual existance. In this case, please thank your brother in my name.

Trinity Dechou said...

Lovely open post. I think many of us find a comfort someone in the words we carve, it's certainly been interesting to see how these words have helped when nothing much else did.
I look forward to see a bit more about the atomic world and yes I agree many of us forget the person behind the avatar.